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Learn to Stay in the Present

Why is it that we are constantly haunted by both the past and the future, even though they both have no power over the present moment we are experiencing? One has passed, is gone, the other has yet to happen. Yet we barely ever seem to exist purely in the moment, except for the really special moments, like when we are in love or we are experiencing a magnificent sunset. Those moments keep us in the present because in order to fully experience their magic, we must be in the here an now. Aren’t those moments some of the happiest and magical memories you’ve ever had? Wouldn’t you like to experience more? Here’s what I think might help you to spend more time in the moment.

Do the following technique to remain grounded in the present, leave those past and future problems where they belong.

The Present Fix

1. While in the midst of daily life, just stop, and ask yourself, “What can I see now?” A blue sky, children playing in the park, a passing bus. Look around you and see what you notice.
2. Next, ask yourself, “What can I feel?” Walk around and touch things, focus on how they feel, soft, smooth and warm. Drink in the feelings that each object stirs within you and dwell on the feelings.
3. Finally, ask yourself what is happening right now, in this moment.

Whenever you find yourself dwelling on past problems or thinking about the uncertainty of the future, pull your mind back to the present with this “present fix” technique.

Immerse yourself wholly in the present moment and put all your attention and focus on what you are doing right now. One of the reasons that time seems to fly the older we get is because we tend to have more to worry about, and as a result, sadly, we spend more and more time dwelling on past failures and regrets as well as fearing what the future might bring. We rarely spend much time in the present, and when one spends more time in the present, time seems to slow and your appreciation for things grows and you are filled with a feeling of being, of peace. Think about it, as children the summers seem to last an eternity, why is that? The reason is that we have no fear of the future, nor any regret of our past. We live purely in the moment, and that’s why everything is so magical when we are children. Don’t allow past and future to dilute these magical moments in the present. Turn off your phone sometimes, switch on some music, do the above technique. Allow time to slow, and just enjoy the beauty of being alive.

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Learn to Breathe Correctly: It Will Make Your Voice and Your Presentation Stand Out!

As a voice coach, the first thing I teach my clients is how to breathe with the support of the diaphragm. The reason is because you cannot discover your ‘real’ voice until you learn this simple technique.

When I discuss your ‘real’ voice, I am not talking about using different words or thoughts to make some psychological change to how you speak. I am talking about finding your ‘real’ sound. And, that ‘real’ sound comes from your chest cavity (the largest of your 5 vocal resonators) to produce a voice that is deeper in pitch, fuller in body, and mature in quality. The voice you are currently using is being produced by your other 4 resonators which include the cavities of your voice box, throat, mouth and nose.

Because most people breathe by means of the upper portion of the chest cavity – known as shallow or lazy breathing – and not the lower half, they are unable to make use of that large cavity as their primary sounding board.
All voices that have depth, resonance and a rich quality are being powered by the chest cavity. And those voices are reminiscent of James Earl Jones, Kathleen Turner, Kate Beckinsale, and George Clooney. The only difference between their voice and yours is in the placement of their sound. In fact, you may have a fantastic speaking voice; however, you will never know just how great it is until you learn to breathe with support and power your voice by means your chest resonator.

Another tremendous benefit of breathing with the support of your diaphragm is in the control of your nervousness in public speaking. There is nothing better that you can do physically than to allow your breathing to take control of your nervous jitters and put them to good use.

Nervousness can be either a nightmare or a blessing. When you allow it to work for you and not against you, you will benefit from the ‘fight’ response of nervousness in which your level of awareness will intensify, your sight will become sharper, and your perception of pain will be diminished. And this is exactly what you need if you want to be at your best when addressing an audience.

While breathing with the support of your diaphragm can have a tremendous effect on your speaking (and singing) voice as well as your presentation skills, it can also change your life in other respects because it is the most important thing you can do to eliminate stress in your life. Imagine something as simple as a diaphragmatic breath improving your life, both professionally and personally.

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Are Men or Women Better Negotiators?

Why is it that statistically, women traditionally, earn less than men, even when both are performing the same function? The answer to that question partially resides in the fact that women are less likely to negotiate when talking about money, promotions, or occurrences that happen in everyday life. I’m not saying this is the case with every woman, but in general, women are less likely to negotiate then men. That being the case, might a lack of negotiation skills by women lead to the premise that men are better negotiators? Once again, the answer is, not necessarily so.

Men have the reputation of being better negotiators, simply because they ask for more of what they want in life. By the fact that men are more apt to ask for more money when being hired, or ask for the promotion they seek, gives them an advantage, when in the job and other environments. As the result of asking for more, men statistically will outdistance women. The lesson to be learned from this is, women need to just ask for more. Surprisingly enough, if women did just ask, they would receive more. They would receive more in the work environment and every environment they find themselves in.

Since women are thought of as not being very good negotiators, they have a built in advantage. Women, once they acquire a little knowledge about negotiations and then start to apply some negotiation tactics, will start to acquire equilibrium in the work place and other stations of life, with men.

If you are a woman reading this article, you are positioned just right. You are poised to become an outstanding negotiator. Just start acquiring more knowledge about negotiations, then implement that knowledge and watch your fortunes soar. If you are a man reading this article, do you hear those footsteps getting closer to you? Turn around, most likely its a women armed with new and better negotiation skills catching up with you. Fret not; the negotiation game has just started. Remember the more you learn about negotiations, the better you become at negotiating. So, increase your knowledge and let the games begin.

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